Anthony Kim has opened up about his struggles with addiction and mental health that had doctors questioning how much longer he had left to live.
Kim, 38, returned to professional golf in late February and is playing as a wildcard this season on the LIV Golf tour. The three-time PGA Tour winner ended almost 12 years away from the sport in doing so, which began after having surgery on his injured left Achilles in the summer of 2012.
That would be the first of seven procedures during his time away from the game, with his shoulder, back, hand, knee, and other Achilles all requiring operations. But it was not just physical pain keeping Kim away from the course.
“When I was at a low point in my life, I was scared I would wake up in the morning because of all the things I would have to deal with,” he told Australian newspaper The Age . Kim recalled: “A year-and-a-half ago, I didn’t know how much longer I had to live.”
Eighteen months on, he is back playing golf, something he acknowledged “wasn’t even in the picture” as little removed as the year from his last tournament. After withdrawing from that event, Kim remembers thinking, “‘I can’t wait to get home and maybe go to a party.’
“I wasn’t focused on golf,” he stated. But that passion for the sport has finally begun to return.
Anthony Kim in action during LIV Golf Miami.
Anthony Kim and his unorthodox grip has returned to professional golf this year on the LIV Golf tour.
During that time away, the former world No. 6 believes he went “six or seven years” without holding a club. “I don’t know if I love golf, but I really enjoy it,” Kim said. “I’m falling in love with the game. I realise that I never enjoyed it the way I have now.”
Kim is also dealing with things better away from the course. “Now the biggest fear I have is not waking up in the morning, not being able to love and support my family,” he shared.
“A lot of amazing people have pushed me to talk to other people and talk to professionals. At one point, I had to be away from my family for a while and get help.
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“That was a low point in my life. I’ve never been one to talk about anything emotional, but a lot of people were there for me – people I didn’t expect to be there.”
Kim continued: “The difference between my first career, and where I’m at now, is I used to want to prove to other people I could do it at this level. It took away from me taking care of myself. I based my self-worth around what other people were thinking, as opposed to how I feel about myself when I go to bed at night.
“I pray that I can deal with the demons every day presents. Unfortunately, at a younger age, I didn’t deal with them well, and I did a lot of things to cover them.”
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